Heart Which Lies Latent
by Shi-Chan Meows
Summary: Sesshoumaru's POV--He reflects some things that have happened, who he loves, who he shall kill, and some things about his dusty heart PLZ R&R!!!!!!


"Heart Which Lies Latent"  
  
By: Shi-chan  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Sesshoumaru feeling really sad. . . poor Sesshoumaru-sama. . .  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshoumaru or Rin or anything Inuyasha. . . *throws cheese at you*  
  
Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-chan: Kon'nichi wa minna-chan. I'm back, and this time I'm writing a little fanfiction in the POV of Sesshoumaru. Please give me feedback, okies?  
  
Sesshoumaru: Pathetic mortal shoujo, how dare you write such an imbecilic fanfiction about me! You'll pay!  
  
Shi-chan: *sticks tongue out* Nyah! I'm writing it, so I control what you do! I could make you frolic in a field of flowers hugging people if I wanted to!  
  
Sesshoumaru: O.O *dies*  
  
***NOTE*** In case you don't read author's notes, this is in the POV of Sesshoumaru! (Maybe I should stop telling people stuff like that so they'll be confused and be forced to read my author's notes. . . Or would that be cruel? Ooh, then I'd be like Sesshoumaru! But matte. . . This fanfiction states that. . . ACK! I can't tell you the story! READ IT! LOL)  
  
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I am the supreme youkai in which no one can compete with in power. There is one who is but inches of reaching my extent, but still has yet to get there. That single soul would be my younger half-brother, Inuyasha.  
  
I am crowned the top youkai not only for my powers, but for the cruelty and heartlessness which I am marked by. Everyone has a heart, I included, but it is dusty, and lies buried in a place in which daylight will never find it.  
  
I have never liked the majority of humans, and truth be told, and there is but one whom I will associate with and deal with on an unbeastly level. This is the same person who I've let see the bit of compassion that lies latent within my soul. That person would be the human child known only as Rin. . . Or so I'd like to say.  
  
There is only one other mortal, or youkai, even hanyou alike, I have allowed to see what I'm like on the inside, without my evil mask of blood. It was all for such a brief period of time, in which every minute, second, is treasured deep in that unused hole of mine maimed a heart. For the few hours in which she entrusted to me, we spoke, she laughed, and managed to make me choke out what was a muffled chuckle in which I would not admit to doing, and we even shared a kiss. Should anyone found out we kissed, my younger brother would surely surpass my power through his anger, and she would be sought out and killed having feelings for a monster like me. That is what is done with mortals whom are found to share relationships with youkai.  
  
Humans are such stupid creatures, to do something like that to one another when they are the weaker, recessive species in Japan at this time. Youkai have not to worry about killing each other, for we will not weaken to their level, which is why humans are such foolish creatures. I've never understood their way of thinking or got why they do some of the things they do. Even now that I care for one like my child, like a true sibling unlike my idiot brother, and even love one, I still don't get them a bit.  
  
That girl. . . whose raven eyes and hair haunt my every thought, and even makes me sometimes think twice before slaughtering her kind. . . How I wish I could hate her, but I can't. It would not even be possible for me to be with her if the humans didn't protest, for she has already a lover.  
  
Why can I not just kill this lover? I wish so terribly-that it's eating me alive-I could, but I wish for her happiness since our relationship would never work out, henceforth this disability. I try time after time to defeat this one but I can just never seem to do it, not matter how capable I am of doing so. She's aware I could kill him also. She knows I could even end her life in a heartbeat. Alas, she shows no fear of me, and she seems to realize that I will not kill either of them. There is one I shall kill tonight, but that shall be told to you later so I can continue to savor these last few memories for the time being.  
  
What exactly was it that happened between I and this mortal girl to make me, the youkai of supremacy, stoop so low as to fall head over heals for her? I kidnapped her from her lover, as bait to take what he possesses which is rightfully mine. During the time it took for me to find the place in which we would await him, she was knocked out. When we finally reached my underground lair in which I was keeping her captive, she awoke, and without struggle sat bound in the place I had tied her. She was well aware that she could not escape from me, and we were too far for her prince charming to come and save her yet, henceforth my being capable of killing her before she could even think of leaving.  
  
I told Jaken, my loyal youkai servant, and Rin to leave the place. I want speak with the mortal in privacy. Once they were gone, I asked the girl what she saw in the moronic creature she came to love.  
  
She smiled, and I quote, replied, "Despite the cruelty he shows on the outside, he has a sweet, gentle heart on the inside, reaching out for love and for someone to be there with him. He's already lost everyone else who's ever been there for him, so he tries to push me away, fearing it'll happen yet again, but I won't let it. I care too much for him to ever betray him or allow myself to be killed without spending all my life at his side. I'll die not unless I'm at his side, but I don't want him to see my death, because of all the tragedy he's already seen in his lifetime, which is why I'll not leave him at all. And I won't let him die, either. No matter what you do, Sesshoumaru, I don't think you'll be able to kill him. You won't kill me either. I know what you could very well do to us both if you were truly trying, and you'd have defeated us long ago, if you really had the intent to do so."  
  
She then looked at me, those dark eyes piercing through my very flesh. She had crystalline streaks of tears trailing to the edges of her face, and I felt that unused organ called a heart ache inside of my body.  
  
I still do not know if that was the first time I began to feel love for her, if it was my temporary hatred for those words she spoke to me, or if I felt a sorrow pass through me, but in any case, I felt uneasy with the new emotion taking over my mind. It didn't feel right to me.  
  
She then suddenly decided she would dare to be the one to interrogate, and me, at that. She asked me why I even barely wanted for the death of them. It was then I came to a full realization that I was in love with the girl. She was brave, and she spoke kindly to me, unlike anyone had other than Rin. But Rin, being a child, could not harbor true love like this young girl could. Of course, she had a lover. Life always was a typical thing, ruling you in whichever way it pleased, mainly as a joke at your expense. The Gods laugh at me and I know it. They must find my life hilarious.  
  
I answer her, "Well, despite what you may think of me, I'm no different from him, except that I am a youkai, and he is not. I, too, have a heart, and feelings, yet they all lie latent and I'm quite afraid they're unreachable. Your relationship with him is extraordinary, and the two of you take out whatever foe crosses you path beside I, and to take such an incredible power down would be an honorous doing. And you are aware he possesses the item I've wanted all of my life, and I intend to get it back."  
  
She nods. "I know. You wish to have it back from him. And he wishes this could all end. And I wish I could just settle down with him, without any youkai attacking us." She suddenly breaks free of the bonds which I placed her in, using the power reincarnated into her, but I do nothing. I know she's not going to leave until her lover comes to get her. "I know you've got a heart, Sesshoumaru. I wish you could find it. Then, perhaps, the humans could approve of you the way they approve of Inuyasha, and someone could love you, too. I think you're a good person, despite anything anyone, or even you, say. I love you, and I'm sorry it's not the way I love your brother, but you are a friend to me, whether you like it or not." She then kissed me, and to my surprise, I found myself returning it. How I love that girl. . .  
  
Inuyasha soon after showed up, and I allowed him to simply take her. I'd had enough.  
  
I never told her, or Inuyasha, or Jaken, or even Rin goodbye, but I am leaving now. I said someone was going to die by my hand tonight and I meant myself. I'm putting my life to an end now, because I've got nothing to live for. She was the only one I could ever show such emotion for, and one day Rin will also leave me.  
  
With my sword at my throat, I wince as I feel the blood trickle down. Normally pain has no effect on me but the thought of leaving Kagome inflicts a great amount of pain. Inuyasha once told her he'd never leave her alone, and he meant it. If only I could've been the one to say such a thing to her. I finally go through with my suicide  
  
Goodbye cruel world, and goodbye to you Inuyasha, my dear little brother, and goodbye Rin, sweet child, Jaken, my loyal servant. But goodbye most of all to you, Kagome. Know that I love you with all of that dusty heart of mine.  
  
  
  
Kagome looks up from the letter which she's found next to the rotted corpse of Sesshoumaru. Tears sting her eyes, and she slips it in her pocket. "Gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru. It's my fault you died this way. . ." She stutters.  
  
She finally leaves, deciding only to tell Inuyasha she found him dead, but not of the letter. She loved Inuyasha more than anything, and sadly that fact killed Sesshoumaru.  
  
[If you don't get it, the whole story was a letter to Kagome in which Sesshoumaru explained his death and she feels guilty.]  
  
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Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-chan: Wow. . . that was so sad! When I wrote the original concept of the story, I didn't even write the two ending twists. I never planned on making him die, nor making it go to Kagome saying sorry, but it just kind of worked. It was sad yet sweet, ne? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, OKIES?!?!?!  
  
And check out my other fanfictions. ^.^  
  
~Shi-Chan Meows~  
  
=^o^= 


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